
I always find the fall a trying time for me. I guess as the trees begin to die and the cold starts to move in, I some how begin to hibernate within my mind. A lot of bad things happened to me as a child in the fall. But, all that aside, it is actually my favorite season. My mind just doesn't like it. A few nights a go I was sitting home alone, no kids were running around. It was Halloween, and instead of the usual holiday, doing something fun with the kids, this year they were too old or with friends and I was a little sad they were not with me. But, it gave me time to think about all the blessings God has given me. I was looking out over all the things that God has given me in spite of my failures and faults, and I realized, none of that stuff really mattered, but is appreciated.
Rarely do I have time alone when everything is so quiet. I remembered the silence when nobody wanted to be my friend as a child. I remembered all the doors slammed in my face as I walked Music Row with my ideas and dreams as a runaway. I remember all the nights going to sleep in a box or behind someone's house to shield me from the cold as I dreamed of no longer being homeless. I was almost ready to end my life one night while eating a handful of grass to stop the hunger shakes. I remember in my younger years having a goal. That goal was to never let someone break me down into their mold of me. I remember wanting to use my ability to promote to reach people to never go down the roads I took. I wanted to be able to hear someone's talent and ability and keep them from living their dreams in a box on the streets. I remember wanting to let God's forgiveness shine on my heart and face.
I am not ashamed to say that for several years my goal was to open my refrigerator and be able to eat. I know a huge battle for me later in my career was food addiction. I starved for so long that when I could eat I ate all the time because I could. But, God has done more for me than I could ever EVER repay. And I may sound like a broken record. But, everyone of you that takes the time to say hey to me or comment, reminds me that though on the surface I am always busy and needed, that underneath the surface I am needed too. I hope you all can find people in your life to fill those voids. I have the best job in the world. It isn't easy and the 115 hour work weeks on the phone can sometimes leave my eyes and mind vacant. I love every minute of it. I appreciate the artist, radio stations and friends in this business that helps me reach the goals God has called me to do. I heard a song today while driving, I had to stop and pull over to cry. WOW! I had to put the lyrics below. It felt like it was written just for me. Just like I am sure it was the other 100 million times that have heard it. I am glad God lets me put these songs on the air to let someone else feel what I got to feel today.
This song hit me in the gut today...the words are---
If you could see what I once was
If you could go with me
Back to where I started from
Then I know you would see
A miracle of love that took me in its sweet embrace
And made me what I am today
Just an old sinner saved by grace.
How could I boast of anything I've ever seen or done?
How could I dare to claim as mine the vict'ries God has won?
Where would I be had God not brought me gently to this place?
I'm here to say I'm nothing but a sinner saved by grace.
Words and Music by William and Gloria Gaither and Mitchell Humphries
Enjoy this month with your family and friends-
Rick Hendrix
http://www.rickhendrix.com
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