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Let me start by expressing my gratitude for those of you who chimed in last month when I faked my resignation. It's nice to know that three more of you really want me to stay. With that said, it may have dawned on some of you that my mind begins to stagnate and it becomes difficult for me to write something new and revolutionary all the time. I apologize. That's the way things go. But still, I persevere.

Just a month or so ago, I began some spring cleaning at my home. (Which brings up an interesting observation: Who decided that we should devote an entire season to cleaning?) Anyway, my wife assigned me the garage and I decided to hose the whole thing down. I backed the cars out, as well as my trusty lawn tractor, my basketball goal (which is adjustable in height), my English bulldog "Knuckles" and his cage, and several other things which just seem to have just happened there (you know, stuff you don't remember buying but they are just there like lawn chairs, water hoses, umbrellas and balls of yarn). Once everything was out of the way, it was then that I applied the heavy pressure of the H20 and watched the dingy, old garage come back to life after a long winter of hibernation.

It was while I was cleaning out the garage that I noticed one of God's slimy little creatures that likes wet, dingy garages - the snail. Just before I blasted him into oblivion with the jet stream of water from my garden hose, my stagnant mind began to wander among the sad, twisted joke library buried deep within it. And I remembered this...

A guy hears a knocking on his door one day. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on his doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field like any of us would.

Ten years later, the same guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there. He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. The snail looks up at him and says, "What was that all about?"

I felt compelled to share with you this nugget of perseverance. It is to enthuse and encourage you to hang in there as you press on toward a summer full of cleanliness. Now go share it with everyone you know. If they don't laugh, tell them they're not very cool. And scold them. And tell them their mind is stagnant.

Join me next time for "Have you had peanut M & M's with a rotten peanut inside that thick candy shell? Not nice."

Bradley Littlejohm

Official disclaimer: This column expresses the views owned solely by Bradley Littlejohn, not Paid In Full or Sogospelnews.com. So if you've got a beef, e-mail Bradley. But don't think for a minute that you can discourage me by punching holes in my arguments. And one other thing, I offer only observations. No real solutions. I don't think that far in advance.

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