
I place myself in situations daily that leave me trying to figure out the best direction to go, the correct way to handle things, the move that will benefit everyone. Not just my feelings or theirs but, both. As a manager and promoter I am sometimes left with the grueling task of being too honest or too comforting. Everyday I am faced with a decision that puts me in the drivers seat to choose right or wrong. I must make decisions in a split second or a deal could be lost. I must immediately come up with a suggestion or solution. I have to cover for people, I have to make excuses, I have to make the right choice for 60 different executives in one sentence, all for just one client.
On a recent flight from California, I was approached on a plane by a client. This client hammered me to the point that I wondered if I were to jump from the plane would it hurt worse. I found myself changing colors to accommodate my situation. I found myself agreeing with this clients gripse. He was complaining about one of my biggest employers and the largest entertainment conglomerate in the known world. When we arrived at the airport, he immediately was greeted with fans, photographers and local television stations. I on the other hand was greeted with a knot in my stomach. I couldn't believe that after all these years in the music industry, I allowed one person's gripes to change my colors.
I immediately started blaming it on my stress, no sleep, the changes in my prescriptions. Could it be I was just leaving Los Angeles, a world of "yes" people, dreamers and vultures. Or could it be I am just human too. I have witnessed many times the attacks people take on others, the pain it causes, the hurt and betrayal. I started down the escalator to grab my bags and decided to turn around.
I pressed through the crowd of fans and took this man by the arm. I whispered in his ear, "I dont agree with you. I think you are whining. I think you have been given too much and you are lazy and ungrateful. And, I love you, BUT it's not my job to cover up your lack of integrity and professionalism anymore."
I turned to leave and he asked me to wait. He stepped over and began his attack on me. I sat and listened while he vented. Then I realized, I was letting it go to the next level. I was allowing my honesty to be questioned. I was allowing myself to be punished for saying what I truly felt and thought. I told him I was excited about being apart of his life. But, I had to leave. I had to get my two faces to the car. I prayed for the Lord to direct me and keep me from falling into the "Yes man" trap again, to place a hedge of protection around me as I faced the industry's cancerous gossip mill. I was glad I went back to approach the artist to put my dignity and integrity to rest. But, it didn't stop me from feeling horrible about the many times I have changed colors to save someone's feelings, to vent my frustrations about someone or to agree with someone to get them to go away.
I know this seems little or small. But, if you think about it, saving someone's feelings, in this business, can be very costly. Telling someone they can sing to get them to spend money with you, only hurts them when radio denies them airplay. Telling an artist you understand their dilemma, when you actually think they are being ungrateful and overbearing to their record company is wrong. Not disagreeing with a story or rumor in this world is agreeing. And in gospel music not disagreeing relates to even more rumors as people use the "Rick Hendrix just told me..." in their next call.
I try to be the person I would like to meet today. The person that makes me feel better about myself. Someone I can go to and they will shoot straight and be honest. No matter the season, the amount of stress we're under, medications we're on, disappointments we face, it's still our job to be real, to be honest and faithful to our calling.
We all changes colors at times, the question is, when you do is there any conviction? Do you feel guilty? Do you want to make it right? If so, your heart's in the right place. Your life is in the right place. Your spirit's in the right place. Let God truly be a light when you speak. If you gossip-even to friends, let it go. If you agree with others to keep them happy, let it go. If they don't stay due to your honesty, it was a relationship for their egos. If you find yourself unhappy and dreading the next encounter with a friend, client or associate-let it go. If you cant get away from a friend or client due to work or family, then clean it up. Set boundaries for yourself. Don't let it own you. Allow yourself ways to get out of the gossip, the lies, or inappropriate jokes or conversations. Its easier to do right, than to go back and clean up wrong. TRUST me I know.
Rick Hendrix
http://www.rickhendirx.com
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