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Do you know why you and your spouse fell in love? If you know why you fell in love, you’ll know how to stay in love.

Look back to the time when you first realized you loved that special person in your life. In addition to all of the qualities you found attractive in your spouse, you were also drawn to him / her because of the way you felt when you were around that person. You felt attractive, appreciated, respected, capable, intelligent and special. You felt loved.

I know part of the reason I love Jim so much is because he makes me feel like the most special girl in the world. Just this weekend, I spoke with someone who had seen Jim at a concert recently and they said he “glowed” when he spoke of me. Isn’t that incredible? I definitely feel loved and I want to be as special as he thinks I am. I have often said to him “I love the way you love me” and that is so true. I love not only that he loves me, I love HOW he loves me. His actions continually make me feel loved and they make me love him even more.

When you see a marriage that is falling apart, you will often see the couple doing the opposite of showing love. You will see them disrespect one another and lash out with hurtful accusations. They will make one another feel unattractive, unworthy, incapable, unappreciated, disrespected and unloved. Although they were loving and kind when they were first married, they begin to take one another for granted and quit doing all the things they used to do to show love to one another.

Now, let’s be honest with ourselves. Although we’ve heard that marriage is hard work, how hard is it, really, to show love? How hard is it to show appreciation and to let someone know that you care for them? Is it really hard work to say something nice that will make your spouse feel good about themselves? I don’t think it’s hard at all.

I believe the golden rule applies in a marriage. It would be good to say “Do unto your spouse as you would have them do unto you” and if you will treat one another in the way that you would like to be treated, your marriage will thrive. Do you want to be complimented? Compliment your spouse. Do you want to be respected? Respect your spouse. If you make your spouse feel loved and appreciated, they will love and appreciate you in return.

I recently heard the saying “Hurt People, hurt people” and I believe the opposite is also true. Loved People, love people.

If you want your marriage to last a lifetime, you have to continue showing love to your spouse. Continue to make them feel attractive and special. Show respect and admiration. Let them know you still think they are strong and capable. Make them feel loved on a daily basis. What did you do when you were dating to show your love? Did you have dinner by candlelight? Did you write love notes? Did you talk on the phone and whisper words of love? Do those things again. Leave a love note for your spouse to find in an unexpected place. Even though you see each other every day, go ahead and call them at work for no reason except to whisper words of love. Play some romantic music on the stereo and have dinner by candlelight. You’ll be glad you did and you just might find yourself falling in love all over again!

Reader Comments

Hey Melissa...
Thanks for reminding all of us what is important...To love one another. A little love goes a long way. When I read your article I couldn't help but think of a song by the troubadour of my marital relationship, Mr. Harry Connick Jr, called The Recipe for Love. To quote Judy Martin from a couple of years ago at SHS... "It doesn't exactly have the plan of salvation in it but doesn’t have any cuss words either..." Below are the first couple of lines...

"A little bit of me and a whole lot of you. Add a dash of starlight and a dozen roses, too. Then let it rise for a hundred years or two..."


Aaron

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