
The John Hancock/John Henry Dilemma I've run across something lately that has me really disturbed. It's the misuse of a common phrase that we all know. I think the problem stems from the lack of knowledge concerning United States history among our citizens today. But maybe I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. But then again I'd like to clarify the situation for all you cyber-readers out there. Here's the history lesson: John Hancock, president of the Continental Congress from 1775 to 1777 and the first governor of Massachusetts, won great fame for the boldness with which he signed the Declaration of Independence. He has the first and most elaborate signature on this great document. Thus, he has one of the most famous autographs in history. So, he is remembered by Americans today when asking someone to autograph a picture or sign a credit card slip or sign a contract or other important document. The phrase goes something like this. "Please put your John Hancock on this." Or at least that's the way it's supposed to go. However, lately I have found many people using the phrase "Hey, put your John Henry on that." John Henry is a legendary steel-driving champion in American folklore. Big difference. John Henry was strong, but probably the only thing he ever signed was his union card. So, as you know, I like to offer suggestions. If we as a society want to totally throw out the John Hancock thing - which to me seems a great tragedy because of its relevance - I think we should substitute more exciting characters into the phrase. So I've made a list of Johns throughout history who would make great fill-ins. Possible candidates: John Philip Sousa John Lennon John Quincy Adams John(ny) Appleseed John Glenn John(ny) Parrack (father of Gold City tenor Jay Parrack) Big John Hall John(ny) Paycheck John F. Kennedy John F. Weeden (my uncle) John Candy John Grisham Jon Eric (local Southern Gospel DJ) John(ny) Cash John Robert Ewing (affectionately known as J. R.) John Daniels Sumner (affectionately known as J. D.) John (the brother of James; Jesus' disciple) John(ny) Carson Jon Bon Jovi John Paul (the Pope) John Ritter John Hugh Tate (childhood friend) John(ny) Bench These are just a few famous Johns. But why John, right? I mean if nobody cares why not use some GREAT names, huh? Alternates: Ronald McDonald Ebeneezer Scrooge Gary Carter Tito Jackson Bruce Wayne I could go on for days, but my point is this: If you're not going to be totally accurate, why not be way off? (Plus, sogospelnews tells me there is some kind of megabyte limit on this webpage.) Join me next time for "Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?" Official disclaimer: This column expresses the views owned solely by Bradley Littlejohn, not Paid In Full or Sogospelnews.com. So if you've got a beef, e-mail Bradley. But don't think for a minute that you can discourage me by punching holes in my arguments. And one other thing, I offer only observations. No real solutions. I don't think that far in advance.
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