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As I sat down to write this month, I thought back of my previous columns. It seems we all complain and gripe about things more than we are grateful for the good things. Some days I find myself mulling over a negative story or comment instead of reading the pages of positive ink. I am really thankful for the blessings God has given to me. And I just want to say, "I am so grateful for God's anointing on my soul and life."

I was watching my son play football with some friends at school while waiting in the car rider lines to pick him up. I thought "God help him, he has my genes." Then it hit me. What if my son is blessed with God's favor like I have been. I could never imagine one day without my Savior. I just cry at the thought of Him even knowing who I am.

Throughout my life, I have endured many trials and the holidays are always tough for me. For some reason watching my son brought up my past. I was not always a child of God, I was not always blessed with money, friends, faith and God's favor. Let me share with you just a little of why I am grateful this CHRIST-mas.

I was raised in a small farm house in North Carolina. People laughed at me because I had one pair of pants. We couldn't afford to get my hair cut regularly. We were extremely poor. I was a grungy little boy. I learned very fast how cruel the world could be. I also learned what having faithful, God fearing parents was like. I would go to school just to bring my momma home my free lunch. I still get sad when I think about her little eyes so hungry when I would get off the bus. But, my parents were honest, God fearing people.

I remember running away from home at 14. My life quickly became a cesspool. I ended up drinking, depressed and homeless before my 15th birthday. My life was full of pain and anger.

I remember a dear Christian family that befriended me. They were Don and Carolyn Lee managers of a Southern Gospel radio station WPAR-FM 88 in Claremont, NC. They offered me a job as a disc jockey if I would join their church. They asked me to stop living on the edge and start believing scripture. Instead I ended up letting the devil drive me to the edge. One Christmas Day while working at the radio station my depression and alcohol abuse caught up with me. I was signing the radio station off on Christmas Day 1988 when I layed down behind the control board and cut both of my wrists. I remember my life passing before my eyes as I felt my body losing blood. I was sobbing. How could my life have come to this? I am only a teenager and I am laying down to die. I begged God to forgive me. As I started to pass out I thought, "How could I have killed myself. What would my Mom and Dad think about when they read the note I left? Christmas would never be the same for my parents and family. Even then God's Angels were watching and waiting for Him to summon them to my side. I woke up in the hospital holding my Mother's hand.

It wasn't until February 17, 1989 at 7 o'clock that those Angels and the Holy Spirit broke through. As I lay on the floor of my parents house dying from alcohol withdrawals I asked God into my life. I have never looked back. Since that day, God has always answered my prayers. He has never failed to dry a tear. Even though life has blacked my eyes a few times I never slow down. I never give up. He has allowed me to be a part of some great ministries and projects.

But, you may be wondering. Why am I bringing all of this up? I have witnessed with 2 artists and a friend already this holiday season who are contemplating suicide. This is the darkest and roughest time of the year for Satan to attack and oppress with the spirit of death. God hears your prayers, He holds your hand, He knows you can make it through this storm. He named this trial after you. He knows your strength.

A person commits suicide every 12 minutes in America. A teenager commits suicide every 2 hours. Its the 2nd biggest killer among people under 24. If you have friends that are stressed, lonely or showing signs of depression. Please comfort them and give them hope and faith. Help them find proper treatment or support. Nobody said the tree had to be full, or that you can't stay home for the Holidays. Give your family happiness and you. Not gifts and stress. I am living proof, God can come down to anyone. He can cover and forgive the lowest of the low. I cannot imagine all of the days I would have missed with my wife and children. All of the songs I have been privileged to promote that have witnessed to the lost. All the sunsets I have seen. If it were not for God's mercy and forgiveness to people like me, life would be worthless. But the blood of Jesus is their to cover every pain, doubt, depression or addiction you may be under.

The Christmas season, LIVE through the holidays!

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