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Sunday Edition


01
Aug
2005
The Vocal Coach - Aug 05


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I just returned from teaching at Dr. Charles Novell School of Music. What a great week it was. There were some of the greatest people in the world there and what wonderful talent. If you have never attended one of the music schools, you are missing the greatest blessing in the world. And it is the best way to learn how to change those bad vocal problems.

While teaching, I discovered that one of the things that kept some of the students from singing well was their insecurity and low self-esteem. I can understand this feeling because having been there, I know how they feel inside. I am sure that there are many others that fight the same insecurities. These feelings tighten the muscles that need to be relaxed in order to sing well. So, how do we deal with this? That is what we will be discussing.

First we need to find out how low self-esteem and insecurities are developed. They came from hearing negative things said to us and about us as small children. A child takes everything to heart even if it is said jokingly or to correct bad behavior. Sometimes it comes from being compared to others. Phrases like . . . "Why aren’t you more like so and so, they never act that way?" We begin to feel less of a person than everyone else. Then the negative self talk starts to play in our heads and becomes a habit until we start believing it as truth. Any mistake we make in life allows us to feel like a failure and we stop trying or pull back, just so we don’t risk failure.

It is so hard when you know God is calling you to sing and you can’t get past those feelings to make your self step out there and risk making a mistake. So we tend to shrink back into ourselves and find it almost impossible to open up and relax. We are constantly fearing failure.

You have to start with the fact that you will make mistakes. That is normal and natural, and that is how we learn and grow. So what if you forget the words of a song, the world will not come to and end. Life will go on and the sun will come up tomorrow. It is all about working to improve our weakest areas and how to make that area stronger. The Bible tells us . . . " I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me," (Philippians 4:13) We can do anything and do it well if we depend on Christ. He will never ask you to do anything that He can’t equip you to handle. Getting instruction is part of God’s process of helping you to grow in knowledge and defeat the fear.

You have to remember that you can never be better than your own self-esteem. Positive self-esteem is not the intellectual acceptance of one’s talents and accomplishments. It is personal self-acceptance. Developing positive self-esteem is not an ego trip. You will simply realize that you are a truly unique and a worthy individual; one who has their on personal talent and is not to be compared with anyone else

Developing positive self-esteem is not just a matter of making you happy, either. It is the foundation on which you must build your whole life. If you hope to be free, it is a task you must take seriously. If you don’t, you can only expect your low self-esteem to get much worse as you get older until you are sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. That always turns into regrets.

It is important to let go of the negative emotions that can block our performance and interfere with good vocal production. Start by trusting the God we serve to be the one that is doing the work and we are only the vessels that He wants to work through. The result is up to God if we have prepared ourselves the best that we can.

If you are a bi-vocational ministry, check out the http://www.beamassociation.com website. It was created with you in mind and to help meet the needs of your ministry.

Until next month, keep singing His praises

Marti Ledford

Reader Comments

Marty, I couldn't agree more!

All my life, I have been amazed at singers that were so tense (not necessarily intense)when they sing that they gasp for air and push for notes, etc. And it all falls back to the fact that they feel that they are so bad at singing that they have no business up there. Of course, most of these I know in this predicament are "church singers" that do specials, offeratories, etc., but.... some I know are out there singing several times a month. Their self-esteem is so low, they would simply quit if their groups didn't keep affirming them and encouraging them to continue.

Some have grown out of that, but others never have, and probably won't.

I get nervous about singing at times, but I don't have very many experiences in my history that I can say that my self-esteem limited my singing. I try my best to get young people, especially, to "sing out!" and not be mousey about their voices. I simply cannot understand why a good singer , even an adequate one, does not recognize their ability. Is that being OVER confident? I don't think so...... (I do know that even the confident folks like me are not usually as good as we think we are......) We all have to value our gifts, whatever they are, in order to give glory to God.

If someone comes up to me, and says how good I did, I thank them, and sometimes tell them, "It's the Lord", but always I just internally and silently thank God for the talents that I do have, and hope to always remember where they come from.


Commented by John Snodgrass On 08/10/2005
Marti,

I too grew up with a negative self-image and had to learn to overcome it. I became a habitual liar because I thought I had to appear to be perfect to be accepted. I'd lie about the tiniest things. Nothing was ever my fault. I'd invent a story about how I got mustard on my shirt.

The very first thing I had to learn was to be honest with everyone, especially myself. I was amazed at the responses of others when I told the truth, instead of lying. They actually liked and admired me for it! I found that they didn't expect me to be perfect!

Then I had to learn to like myself. Being honest, and searching for the truth in each and every thing I experienced was the major step I took to accomplish that. I searched for the truth through discussions with others, self-help books, and The Bible.

I discovered that my fears were based on thoughts of the future. Even when someone has a gun pointed at you, the fear comes from thinking of that future moment when they might, emphasize might, pull the trigger and send a bullet into your body. I began trying to live in the present moment as much as possible, being aware of what was truly happening at that moment, not just impressions. I sometimes slip at this, but that's okay. I'm still not perfect.

As I grew to like myself, I found I liked others a lot more as well. Before, I was lying, trying to impress them for my own gratification and acceptance. Now, when I perform, I do it for the audience members. I don't do it for my own gratification, or for applause. I do it to get the message out to each of them.

One last thought. How would you perform if you knew you could not fail?


Commented by Dave Butcher On 08/28/2005
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